I carve YOUR name in my heart; PERMANENT.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Have you ever felt that your entire self wasn't being appreciated?
Have you ever woke up feeling disgusted with yourself for loving someone way too much when on the other hands, you are doubting her/his love for you?
Have you ever felt that you were too kind to your other part that he/she is taking things for granted?
Have you ever felt so fed up with your other half that you want to end things with him/her but it never happened cause you love them too much and afraid of letting go?

Well, these are the feelings bottled up in me for years.

Make me yours tonight, Let me die in your arms;
3:24 PM

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

I am back from the world of laziness.

It's not that I don't have the time to update. But, I am plain lazy.
Many things happened in life that taught me to be a better person in whole.
Dad recently got his prostatic right leg. He's not happy with it as he claimed that wearing it is painful. Some people around me are complaining about their life.
Well, my dad isn't working and for now, my mum and myself are the main sole breadwinner. Sometimes, we need to be contented with what we have. Always remember, if you think you are unfortunate, there are someone more unfortunate than you.

I love my mum. She's a great woman. When my dad got the news that he's leg had to be amputated for the second time, he broke down into tears. Never in my whole twenty years have I seen my dad cried. To my surprise, mum stayed strong and supported him by giving him constant encouragement, repeteadly saying "it's okey". If it's me in her shoes, I will break down as well. Then, when my dad was discharged and allowed to stay at home, my mum nursed and took care of him. Under pressure and great stress, dad always scolded mum, me and my other siblings. The stress level I had that time was unbearable that I broke down and complained to my mum. I had no one except for my mum that time. Friends? I don't know where all of them were. Boyfriend? Out of my thinking box. Mum did not even complained a single minor thing. I want to be like this strong woman.

I am glad that sweetheart is back from his four months deployment in Gulf of Aden. I am more contented that my prayers were finally answered. This man really changed for the better. Frankly speaking, I thought of leaving him when he's away (I know this sounds bitchy). Close friends who understands my situation have been telling me to settle down with someone better. Well, after a few thoughts and flashbacks on how he treated me, I decided to put a stop to everything. But, alhamdulillah, when he comes back, he really showed me that he's worth that another chance. Now, I am in love with this man all over again. We did alot of catching up and of course, satisfying cravings :)

And also, the craving to soak under the sun...

Happy Ramadhan to all the muslims (:

Make me yours tonight, Let me die in your arms;
10:58 PM

Friday, June 19, 2009

Batam trip was better than what I expected.
3 days stay in Harris was great.
Great service with commendable people working there.
We were greeted with a song, drinks and hot towels. The kids got a packet of popcorns each.
From there, I knew that we would enjoy our stay in Harris.
2 days straight, we had seafood for dinner by the sea.
Oh, and I don't think Singaporeans will ever dare to drive on the Batam's road. It is so dark, I can barely see my own hands. Only the headlights from the taxi shining it's way through. The drivers in Batam drove their vehicles, majority consist of motorcycles, like they own the road. It's so scary.
When the red lights turn on or at any time the road gets congested due to heavy traffic, there will be little children knocking on the cars, taxis or bus window to sell newspapers. It's a very pitiful sight. Singapore kids are bloody fortunate.
Thinking of this, I should have taken photos of them and show it to my students.
Provided, they truly understands the message and idea I'm trying to convey to them.

Ps. Nie, Pls open your eyes wider and find only those who are really passionate to be a teacher (Sickening).

Make me yours tonight, Let me die in your arms;
10:43 PM

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Finally, I've graduated. Congratulation to the Class of 2009, School of Chemical and Life Sciences (Diploma in Chemical and Pharmaceutical Technology) . I struggled my way through for the past three years and now it's over. I don't have to memorise PFD, understanding how the reactor system behaves, do calculations for distillation columns and some other equipments, sweating my ass off climbing columns just to record the pressure of the reactants.

But, I will miss going to lectures and tutorials, eating from the school canteen food, criticizing the weird lecturers fashion sense, skipping lectures, doing lab reports, getting nervous over a presentation, sleeping in the train after such a long tiring day and mostly, I am going to miss Salma. During my poly years, she's the only one who I stick and depend on as my listening ears.

Here are just some photos..

My mother is my pillar of strength and she's the reason for every success I taste.

I gonna miss boxing Shahfiq in the lift. I gonna miss putting water balloon on Suren's bag. Well, my class know me as someone mischievous, funny and up to many things haha.

Lastly, some changes on image. I miss the curls but it's bugging me in the sense that it's too dry with split ends.

Make me yours tonight, Let me die in your arms;
12:07 AM

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Forced myself to wake up at 6am today to accompany mum and sister to Raffles convention Center for the MDIS scholarship and bursaries award ceremony.
Bought mum the new arrival crocs for her belated mother's day cum birthday gift.
Bought sister her hoodie.
Bought nothing for myself.

I got so many things in mind:

- Get a big Charles and Keith handbag for myself
- Get my hair straight
- Buy myself two dresses
- Dinner treat for mummy, mama and papa
- Car do for sweetheart once he return as a belated birthday gift
- Fish spa and shopping spree with Kak Aidah and Kak Didi

Shit. If only I am a tai tai...
Any businessman wants to make me as their tai tai girlfriend?!
lol

Make me yours tonight, Let me die in your arms;
12:29 AM

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

I asked myself, are you worth waiting for?

Gosh I hate the fact that I strongly want to call it over.

BUT, once it's over, I am the one who will cry for you back.

HOOKED.

Make me yours tonight, Let me die in your arms;
11:16 PM

Saturday, May 09, 2009

I thought I am strong.
But now, I see the world came tumbling down after me.

Boyfriends are there. But friends are the one who are true.

Laila, Please take me to Cambodia? The hot burning sun doesn't matter and is nothing compared to this burning pain in my hear. haiz.

I want it over, but HOW? Ya Allah tell me how?

It's so impossible. But I know it's possible. Why do I need to love that boy so much when all he cares is family, career, prospects and car?

Four months away from each other. With no source of connections to reach through him. HE BLOODY GIVE ME TWO FUCKING MISS CALLS JUST NOW AND I FUCKING DIDN'T HEAR IT. I was praying hard that he would call again. But he doesn't! I can't even call back!

FUCK FUCK FUCK. I REALLY HATE THIS AND CANNOT TOLERATE THIS ANY FURTHER!

I REGRET TO BE WITH A SOLDIERRRRRRRRRRR. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK. FUCKING REGRET.

SUCK BALLS.

Tell me, do I deserve this kind of life? I AM FUCKING SICK OF LIFE.

HATE IT.

FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK #%#$#%#$#$#%@#$

Make me yours tonight, Let me die in your arms;
1:27 AM